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Most Common Things Married Couples Argue Over

The number on thing couple fight about is money. Money is also, unfortunately, the most common reason for divorce.

Studies show that the number one cause of divorce is money arguments. In fact, a national survey showed that 27% of couples said that a disagreement over finances was most likely to erupt in an argument, averaging 3 arguments a month over financial issues. However, the older you get, the more frequent money fights can become. Couples between 45 and 54 say they average 4 money arguments a month. Here are some other statistics about money fights.

  • One-third of couples say they have fights about not having enough money in savings.
  • 30% of couples have fights because of deceitful financial decisions, with one making secret purchases without telling the other.
  • Unexpected expenses cause arguments with almost half of couples.
  • More than half of the couples whose financial status has declined over the past year had a fight about money as a result.

Factors That Contribute to Money Arguments

  • Spending Habits - Every person has a different "financial personality" so if each person in a marriage is the opposite of the other, there tends to be some friction. One person might be more inclined to save every penny and follow a carefully planned budget, while the other might spend more freely, paying less attention to the details.
  • Kids - There is no question that raising kids is expensive. But when parents aren't in agreement about how to handle money with their kids, this can lead to arguments. Not only are there the obvious expenses of having children, but handling allowance, involving kids in the family finances, saving for college, buying clothes, school trips, etc, all can potentially contribute to money arguments.
  • Giving - Some people are more charitable with their money, while others are tight-fisted. If a couple doesn't agree on how to give their money, whether it's at church, to friends or family in need, or other charitable causes, this will lead to arguments.
  • Debt - Financial baggage has become the norm in today's society, with outrageous student loan debt, car loans, and credit card debt. Some couples aren't truthful about their debts, leading to major arguments.
  • Yours vs. Mine - It may seem obvious that when you get married, all things, including your finances, are shared, but this is not the case. Some couples keep their money separate even after getting married. Whether your finances are combined or separate, if a couple is not in agreement with how their money is spent as a family, it will certainly lead to arguments.

These arguments aren’t always benign. Money problems and the resulting arguments about money break up more marriages than any other issue, including infidelity. On the other hand, the average cost of getting a divorce in America is $15,000 to $20,000. It is a bit ironic that, in many cases, the result of the divorce causes more problems in the area that caused the divorce in the first place!

No matter how much a husband and wife love each other, there are going to be times when they disagree. But when those disagreements turn into arguments, it can turn ugly. There are many different reasons that couples argue, but certain topics come up more often than others.

Other Things Couples Fight About

Here are some of the other common reasons that married couples argue.

Responsibilities

Chores can be a constant area of contention. When the responsibilities of the cooking, cleaning, dishes, taking out the trash, and the rest of the chores are distributed unevenly, it can lead to resentment and conflict. Not surprisingly, this causes fights and feelings of being unappreciated.

Family

Relationships with the in-laws, as cliché as it might seem, can cause many arguments between couples. Other family issues, such as differing parenting philosophies on how to raise the kids frequently cause arguments as well.

“You can’t win an argument.
You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it,
and if you win it, you lose it. ”
– Dale Carnegie

Experienced Divorce Counsel

While these aren’t the only things that cause arguments in a relationship, they are the most common. If arguments between you and your spouse have you considering divorce, don’t hesitate to contact us. The lawyers at Gilbert Law Group PLLC understand that going through a divorce can be painful. That’s why we focus on our clients and their needs, not just getting them a check. To speak to one of our experienced divorce attorneys, contact us today.